During my high school and college years I drifted away from my walk with Christ. I had some pretty low moments and had actually considered ending my life. One night I was just so angry at everything. I saw my bible sitting on my shelf with a layer of dust on it. I picked it up and threw it across the room. I had lost hope and felt so alone. I looked over to where it had landed. It had fallen open to Isaiah. I was instantly drawn to read the open pages. What I found was this passage:
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31
I had to read it a few times as my vision was bleared by my tears. I remember curling into myself and just crying and crying. That is when I finally felt peace. He heard my prayers even though I had no words. That was the moment I truely began to live again. I won't lie and say it was instantlessly easy. It was difficult to climb up out of the pit, but I had renewed hope and a reason to press on.
Through the darkness the sun was beginning to shine. I started seeking the right kind of attention and walked with God as my guide. I met my husband who shares my journey. Our daughter is a blessing only God could have given. Her insight and closeness with Jesus is remarkable. She is affirmation of God's great love.