Made For More

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Sweet Place of Breakthrough

Yesterday was a day of celebration.  I lost a pound.  Yes I know some would say a pound, big deal.  Oh, how long I have waited to see that scale move.  I started a professional weight loss program back in October.  I lost 2 pounds at first and then that blessed scale stalled.  I have weekly appointments rotating between an exercise physiologist, dietitian and a health coach.  To put it mildly I was frustrated.

I tracked what I ate.  I exercised.  I practiced self talk.  Why wasn't the scale moving?  One week I looked at them and asked if it was broken. Unfortunately it wasn't.  I was feeling better and I had energy, but to the extent I wanted.  So what was I missing?  I needed to dig deeper, so I joined an online bible study, Made to Crave.

This study has saved me from my self!  I discovered I was doing the right things but going about it with only the motions.  I was missing the most important piece, GOD.  When I started diligently reading the book and participating I felt lighter, literally.

What made yesterday so special was I prayed out loud.  It was my turn to drop Mickey off at school.  Our routine is for her to pray for the day as I drive.  But yesterday she simply said, "Mom I really think you should today."  So I did.  I included my appointment with scale, that the number would be smaller, but most importantly I wouldn't  let that number define my worth.  What was amazing is when I picked her back up after school we talked about our day.  When I told her about my loss.  She was so excited for me.  Her words were "Wow one whole pound,  even with a twisted ankle. That's awesome."  (I sprained it the week before and was on crutches for a few days.)

I felt so good that I celebrated by going to the pet store to get a few things for the pets.  Normally I would of celebrated with ice cream from DQ.  To way was I going to go backwards.  I thought to my self how would God feel if I polluted my victory.

I'm changing from the inside out and it feels like freedom!  Thank you Mandisa for joining me every day on my way into work and on the way home.  I listen to "Overcomer" first and then the rest of the album.  I even set both my ring tone and alarm to" Overcomer". It is wonderful!  Thank you for sharing your gift with all of us!

"The truth of my identity as a child of God empowers me to believe that living in victory tastes sweeter than any unhealthy delicacy."  Lisa Terkeurst, Made To Crave
 In His Grace,                          

Saturday, January 25, 2014

A new perspective

I have set a few challenges for myself this year.  One of them was to develop a closer relationship with God.  In the past I have prayed, read the Bible, went to church, and joined Bible studies.  To some that would appear that I have a close relationship with him.  Then why is it that I can't fully trust Him to be faithful?  For a long time I was puzzled by this question.  I'm doing things that other Christians do.  What am I missing?  It wasn't until I sat myself down and dug deep, asking myself what was I lacking.  I called out to God and asked Him what it was that He wanted from me.  I sat and waited, no answer.  I thought OK, patience.  I can do patience.  That wasn't the whole answer.

I'm not sure where I saw that Proverbs31 was doing the Made To Crave study, but I knew I was meant to see it.  I have attempted to do the study on my own in the past, but I didn't get very far with it.  So I signed up.  I felt God tugging at my heart when I discovered the optional blog portion of the study.  I know He wanted me to step out of my comfort zone and participate, not just by commenting, but blogging.  

When I typed out my first blog I realized that God was showing me what I was lacking and what He wanted from me.  He wanted ALL of me.  Not the "me" that the world sees, but the unfiltered, vulnerable me.  So as I typed I held nothing back.  I thought I would feel exposed.  I was surprised to feel free.  My chains were gone.  I began to see what it was I was lacking.  I did everything on the surface, but was afraid to dig deeper.  I was afraid of what I would find.  I had the illusion I was in control.  I needed to live the scriptures.  Have conversations with God, not just grocery list prayers.  I needed to expose myself and participate in my Bible studies.  In my women's study at church we are studying Gideon.  I am finding parallels between Made To Crave, Gideon and myself.

I was encouraged to personalize a piece of scripture.  I chose Isaiah 43:18-19.
Forget past attempts, they are nothing compared to what I am doing in you.  I am creating something new.  See, I have already begun.  I am making a path for you through the desert and I have made streams to quench your thirst.
 The scale my not say anything different.  That's OK.  I no longer depend on a number to define me.  I feel lighter than I have in years.  Isn't He amazing?

Faithfully His,              

Thursday, January 23, 2014

A Raging Battle

The battle at times can be a mellow rain on the horizon or a full blown storm. From month to month, day to day, or even moment to moment that battle can peak into a devastating hurricane than just as quickly dissolve into just a few drops of rain.  

The battle I am speaking of is not the weather, but a much deeper emotionally and spiritually war.  It is being fought daily between is my relationship with God and how I view His work in me.  There are days when I can see all the blessings he has given me.  On other days I doubt His goodness.  I let my situations overcome me.  For an example I struggle with Fibromyalgia.  Even though I  am still able to function and have only minor set backs I lack the trust and faithfullness.  I forget to thank Him for the good days and for giving me the strength to get through the bad days. I feel it is one thing to say I rely fully on God, but not as easy put into action when I let emotions and negative influences overcome me. I have filled this void with anything that will distract me.  I start to crave that distraction.  I am learning to lean on HIm instead of everything else.

Here are a few passages that have helped put things in perspective for me.  I pray those that read this blog will feel empowered by these also.

 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.  2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)

 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.   “All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced;  those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.   Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.   For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;  I will help you. Isaiah 41:10-13 (NIV)

 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:13 (NIV)
 I do not claim to have it all together and I will continue to have set backs, but one thing I do have is God and His promises.

In His Grace,                                 


Saturday, January 18, 2014

Jesus Saves

I don't remember the exact date but it was around '85-'87 was when I asked Jesus in my heart.  I remember it was a Wednesday night.  Missionaries had come to a local church and put on a puppet show.  Afterwards I went into a private room with one of the ladies and she walked me through a prayer of forgiveness.  Around that same time both my parents accepted the Lord as their savior and all three of us were baptized together.  In middle school I attended a christian private/home school.  I was active in youth groups and went on  several mission trips through different churches.

During my high school and college years I drifted away from my walk with Christ.  I had some pretty low moments and had actually considered ending my life.  One night I was just so angry at everything. I saw my bible sitting on my shelf with a layer of dust on it. I picked it up and threw it across the room.  I had lost hope and felt so alone.  I looked over to where it had landed.  It had fallen open to Isaiah.  I was instantly drawn to read the open pages.  What I found was this passage:

 Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow weary, and young men stumble and fall;  but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles;  they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:28-31

I had to read it a few times as my vision was bleared by my tears.  I remember curling into myself and just crying and crying.  That is when I finally felt peace.  He heard my prayers even though I had no words.  That was the moment I truely began to live again.  I won't lie and say it was instantlessly easy.  It was difficult to climb up out of the pit, but I had renewed hope and a reason to press on.

Through the darkness the sun was beginning to shine.  I started seeking the right kind of attention and walked with God as my guide.  I met my husband who shares my journey.  Our daughter is a blessing only God could have given.  Her insight and closeness with Jesus is remarkable.  She is affirmation of God's great love.